and sure i sent a message 2 times in a short period...
From chat logs this morning (redacted due to a player spamming profanity who was later banned).
[11:18:20] [main/INFO]: [CHAT] [G] [WMAX] [M] BananaMan: Ban him
[11:18:31] [main/INFO]: [CHAT] [G] [WMAX] [M] BananaMan: Ban Ban Ban
[11:18:38] [main/INFO]: [CHAT] [G] [WMAX] [M] BananaMan: Ban Ban Ban
You spamming the word "ban" directly encouraged other players to repeat "ban"after you, immediately filling chat with a mess of nonsense. Staff doesn't jump through hoops for you or anyone else. We ban ONLY when it is appropriate, not when a member deems it so, and we follow procedure when we ban.
You spamming the word ban 7 times in under a minute did nothing but add to the chaos and made it much more difficult for myself and other staff to deal with the problem. This is not the first time you have spammed ban in chat either, it is just the first time you have been held accountable for it.
i was angry and said "im going to kill myself" as a joke
You should be ashamed to even use this as an excuse, but you're not. You have no idea how awful things like what you said are to hear or experience. When you said that in-game, I was seriously worried about your safety, and was desperately trying to PM you before you left. Things like that are never something a mature adult would joke about. It is never an excuse to say you were "just joking" to break the rules.